So you REALLY Want a Conspiracy Theory About the Drug Companies?

Every time there's an outbreak of any sort of disease it seems conspiracy theories run rampant about where the disease came from, whether it's even dangerous, and, most importantly, how much the drug companies are benefiting from it. The recent H1N1 pandemic has gotten completely out of hand in this regard, to the point where I've actually been accused of lacking intelligence because I got vaccinated. Women in the locker room at the gym are saying ridiculous things like "If you ate properly your immune system would be strong enough to fight the flu and you wouldn't need a vaccine." People I bump into seem to shudder at the notion that I'd allow anyone to inject such an onerous "chemical cocktail" into my arm.

Now before I get ranting, let me throw down a few facts. First of all, I eat very well. The last time I had nutritional analysis done every single vitamin and mineral was present in exactly the quantity it should be. Iron was the one exception, and two weeks after discovering that, I made small adjustments to my diet and bloodwork revealed that the problem was corrected. Secondly, I am asthmatic and I work in a university. The asthma means I am vulnerable to respiratory illnesses and the university setting means I'm being bombarded by coughing sneezing students on an hourly basis. Thirdly, I don't get sick often, but when I do it usually comes in the form of bronchitis or pneumonia and with H1N1 that can be very serious indeed. With all those facts supporting me I say this to those of you who mock my decision to get the vaccine: "Consider the fact that if I get swine flu, I have serious potential to get very ill and end up on a ventilator. That poses a much larger risk to me right now than the imagined effects down the road of a vaccine that has been produced by the same methods as any other flu vaccine."

Okay, now, you really want a conspiracy theory? Let's have some fun.

Hands up. Who's heard of a little company called Pfizer? Oh, you have? Well, you probably also know that they're a producer of pharmaceuticals, right?

Well, back in 1880, Pfizer also began producing citric acid. In no time flat, citric acid actually became the company's number 1 product, they sold tonnes of the stuff. The main buyers for citric acid were the producers of soft drinks such as Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper and Pepsi.

Do you enjoy an ice cold Coke? Well you're not alone. According to statistics released by Coke, in 2008 they sold the equivilant of 395 cans of Coke per every person in North America during that one year. Now, consider that 12 ounces of Coke has the equivalent of 11 tsp. of sugar in it. Already you can see one big reason why our rates of obesity, heart disease, and diabetes are skyrocketing.

Now, consider this! Within 5 minutes of drinking one can of Coke (or consuming an equivalent amount of sugar), there are studies that show your white blood cells become 50% less active and for the next 4-5 hours your immune system is functioning at half strength. During that time you're much more vulnerable to all sorts of baddies including *GASP* swine flu! If you actually DO get sick, you're probably going to end up forking out hard earned cash for drugs to make you feel better and SOME of that cash might just find it's way back into the pockets of the company that made the citric acid to support the soft drink industry in the first place. Delicious!

So if the drug companies are making ingredients for delicious unhealthy products and their antidotes, all of which you'll happily buy, why oh why would they feel the need to invent a horrible thing like H1N1 and then go through the trouble of convincing people to stand in 5 hour lineups to get stuck with a needle? In fact, why wouldn't they just come up with something easier to sell like a pill and call it a day? Seems a little complicated to me!

What was that theory about Survival of the Fittest again? You people who are so terrified of the H1N1 vaccination might want to review that little conspiracy theory - I hear it holds a lot of merit!